The Daily Nusz

Here’s the pic of the bound copy of dissertation . . . better late than never.

And here’s the pic of my actual degree . . . still not framed, though.

Try to hold in your whoopin’ and hollerin’.

Yesterday, I defended my dissertation.

How did it go, you ask?  Well, let me set the stage. 

Prior to the defense, I spoke to each committee member on the phone.  Because I am completing my program long distance (I live in SC, the program is in PA), and I have taken an extraordinarily long time to complete the dissertation portion of it, these committee members haven’t seen me in person for about two years.  So I called to say hello, remind them of who I am, and truth be told, to plant the seed that yes, Tara is a lovely person who deserves only to be treated with kindness and understanding.

So, I set up my powerpoint and run through my presentation.  It goes well.  I’m not particularly nervous at the idea of presenting in front of a group, and I know my study forward and backwards, so it goes well.  Plus, I stayed in a hotel the night before, and I got the most sleep I’ve had since finding out I was pregnant with Declan.  It’s amazing how much more coherent I sound when well-rested. 

Now comes the part where I sit down with the committee and we engage in a collaborative discussion about the project.  They ask several easy questions, which I answer confidently.  Then, one particular professor (Dr. EL) starts to puzzle over the results of my reliability analysis.  He wonders why the correlations are so low.  I offer a couple of possible explanations, but as my stats professor (Dr. WB) says, “The data is what it is.  You’re just there to report it.”   Then, Dr. EL wonders if my study could be enhanced if instead of analyzing the data the way I did, should I take out the data provided by all the part-time school psychologists and re-run everything?  Um, what?  I’m starting to feel faint.  I say nothing. 

Then another professor (Dr. BK) wonders if maybe I should add more to my literature review, since I completed it awhile ago.  The idea of finding, reading, and writing intelligently about additional research makes me want to vomit.  Thankfully, both Dr. WB and Dr. JK vehemently deny the necessity of that, and in fact, Dr. WB suggests an overall program policy change that makes it so that if a student’s first three chapters have been approved, they should not be asked to change even one word of those chapters.  I agree, but I stay silent. 

Over the next ten minutes, with little input from me, phrases such as “reenter the data from the reliabilty sample”, “change all the phrases that use the word “team” to “individuals who create an FBA”, and “alter the research path diagram slightly” wash over me.  They argue with one another.  I think, “Uh-oh.  Is my dissertation such crap that it’s going to start a fight here?”  The most outlandish recommendations are  discarded, but others, less offensive, are lauded and put in writing.  My head hurts.  Is it really only 12:15 pm? 

As convention requires, they ask me to leave the room while they discuss the merits of my defense.  I leave.  This is the most nervous I’ve been all day.  I chat with an elderly man in the hallway.  I’m grateful that he wishes to tell me in detail about his summer vacation.  Several minutes pass, and I’m invited back in.  Without hesitation, they tell me that I’ve passed.  As we mill around, chatting, one of the professors takes a minute to tell me that my defense went exceptionally smoothly.  “Um, really?”  “Really”, she says.  She says there was no debate about whether my work was of a high enough caliber to warrant a passing grade.  “Why did it get so ugly in there?  Why are there so many revisions to be done?”, I ask.  She says, “Revisions?  There are no revisions.  There are additions;  things that we decided should be added based on our collaborative discussion.”  Hmm.  That’s a positive spin on the fact that I’m still not done with this damn thing.

Defense over.  Step #2,368 completed.  How many more do I have to go?

Dear Dissertation Gods,

    Thanks for nothing.  My chair says that although he really doesn’t have any revisions for me, I shouldn’t “get my hopes up” about graduating in August.  “Just to be on the safe side”, we shouldn’t “rush this process”.  He wants to have the stats professor review my study and if he doesn’t have any revisions, there may be a “possibility” of graduating.  He then reminded me that everytime I turn something in, I have to allow 3 weeks for review. 

   I’m bitter, Dissertation Gods.  Bitter.

Dear Dissertation Gods,

    Thank you for kicking my dissertation chair in the #*&.  He sent me the revisions for Chapters 1-4 today, about 30 minutes after I appealed to you on my blog.  Also, thank you for telling him that he has to work mornings during his vacation and making him provide me with the phone number at which he can be reached. 

   Now, can you make him read and revise Chapter 5? 

   I’m sorry for writing “Damn that man”.  That wasn’t very nice.

Sincerely,

Tara Nusz, ABD

Dissertation is done.  Well, it would be if my dissertation chairman would just read the final draft and let me know if there are any last minute revisions that need to be completed.  In order to graduate in August, I need to hand in the final draft of my dissertation by July 15.  Absolutely no exceptions. Well, today is June 4.  That gives me 41 days, right?  Tons of time.  Well, during that time I need to defend my dissertation.  And in order to defend, you need to give your committee three full weeks to read over your dissertation so they are familiar with it by the time you defend.  Once I defend, I need a few days to make any last minute changes and prepare the manuscript before I hand it in.

Okay, so let’s break this down.

Tuesday, July 15–Must be handed in to the School of Graduate Studies.

Tuesday, July 8–Must defend by this date, so I have time to make any last minute revisions based on how my defense goes.  I probably could defend as late as Thursday, if I really, really had to.

Tuesday, June 17–My committee members must have a copy of my dissertation.

Monday, June 16–Last day to overnight my dissertation to the committee members (I am in SC, they are in PA).

Okay, so, I have to have my revisions completed by June 16.  That gives me 12 days.  Plenty of time, right?  Um, no.  My dissertation chair is leaving on vacation (how dare he?) THIS WEEKEND and will be gone until Saturday, June 28.  That means that today is Wednesday, and I have to have all my revisions DONE by Friday, June 6.  As of last Friday, my chair indicated that he hadn’t even looked at my manuscript.  So unless he’s been poring over it all week, there is little chance I’m going to get my revisions back AND have time to make changes by Friday.  And I seriously doubt he’s going to be willing to work on my dissertation during his vacation, which would have bought me some more time.

So, it looks like I’m unlikely to graduate in August.  Which sucks, because I’ve been busting my butt to get this done.  And, if I don’t graduate until December, I have to pay another $700.00 in tuition for fall semester. AND my pay at my new job will be less, as I won’t officially have my doctorate.  So, not only is this impacting me emotionally, but financially as well.

Damn that man.  I pay tuition so he will guide me through this process.  And last time, prior to my proposal defense (a different kind of defense which I completed in May 2006), he took two MONTHS to review my manuscript.  Because of the delay, data collection was postponed nearly 5 months.  So I probably shouldn’t be surprised that this is taking so long.  Now I’m going to miss August graduation by what?   One week? 

Anyway, if you’re gotten to the end of this post, I salute you.  Maybe you could pass along your tenacity to my chairman. 

Totally sucks.