It’s Official

May 27, 2008 at 9:12 pm | In Day to Day | 3 Comments

Ahhhh . . . imagine you’re me.  I’m at the pool, lounging on a chaise.  Because of my new dedication to working out, I’m wearing a size 4 bathing suit.  My sunglasses are perched on my head, a magazine is in my hand, and I’m sipping some lemonade.  My sunscreen is spread evenly, assuring me that I will not look like an old leather shoe by the time I’m 35.  The sound of giggling comes from my children as they play at the edge of the kiddie pool.  The lifeguard is attentively watching them, leaving me free to gaze at my magazine for long moments. 

Eeerrrrrrrr.

Um, no.  Let’s talk reality.  I’m at the pool, that part is true.  But my bathing suit is a size 8, dated from two summers ago.  The bum on it sags a little.  Or maybe that’s just my bum sagging.  My sunglasses are lost at the bottom of the diaper bag, or maybe I forgot them in favor of a tupperware container full of goldfish crackers?  The only fluid I have consists of the apple juice in one sippy cup, over which both children are fighting viciously.  The whining of my children is piercing my ears, only occasionally drowned out by my cries of, “Walk! Don’t run, Savannah!”, “Stay with Mommy, Declan!”, “Savannah, don’t drag him by the hand across the pavement!” etc.  It’s not pretty.  Oh, and while my children are covered in a thick layer of sunscreen, I can feel the wrinkles around my eyes deepening.  I’ve developed a headache, and I’m pretty sure that’s my flip-flop floating in the pool.

The only consoling thought is that all the other moms in the neighborhood look exactly like me (well, maybe not the saggy bum part).  They come to the pool each day with a wagon, or a stroller, or a beach bag that is filled to the brim with plastic toys, sunscreen, water bottles, and snacks.  Eye contact is abandoned as everyone’s gaze is locked on their children, with an occasional hand reaching out to snatch the back of a child’s swimsuit as he/she stumbles on the pavement.  Toys and snacks are traded, tears erupt as a child is scolded for splashing an adult, and the sun beats down relentlessly, ensuring long naps from tired children.

The pool is open.  Summer has officially begun.

A Day at the Zoo

May 24, 2008 at 9:16 pm | In Savannah | 1 Comment

Earlier this week, Kevin, Linda (my mother-in-law), Savannah, and Declan went to the Riverbank Zoo in Columbia, SC. I, in contrast, had to stay home and take advantage of the quiet time to work on my dissertation. I got a lot done, but I would have much rather spent the day at the zoo.

It was a pretty darn good day for Savannah:

The Top 10 Reasons Why Going to the Zoo is Awesome (in Savannah’s world, particularly):

10. She got to watch a DVD using the portable DVD player during the ride down (1.5 hours).

9. She got to pack a lunch.

8. She got to eat the lunch sitting outside, at a picnic table.

7. She got to spend the entire day with Daddy and Grammy!

6. She went to the potty with Grammy, and the toilet flushed itself!

5. She got to see a cow.

4. She got to see a gorilla up close, with only a piece of glass between it and her (this was favorite of Decky’s too).

3. There was a carousel, which both Savannah and Decky got to ride on.

2. She got to eat Dippin’ Dots ice cream.

1. She got to ride a pony all by herself!

More Random Stuff

May 19, 2008 at 11:05 am | In Day to Day, Random | 4 Comments

A while back I wrote a post called “random stuff”.  I thought I’d follow up on some of that stuff, and maybe add some more. 

1.  Kevin put Savannah to bed the other night.  When he did so, he saw her put her thumb in her mouth.  If you remember, we just got rid of her pacifier.  If I see her doing it again, we are faced with the question:  Do we give her back her pacifier so she doesn’t get attached to her thumb? 

2.  I was offered as job as a half-time school psychologist in a nearby school district, working in an elementary school.  I don’t know which school yet, but once I find out, I will probably accept the position.  I’ll then be faced with putting Decky in daycare for a couple days a week.  Eeek!  He’s kind of a momma’s boy, so he’ll probably be one of those kids who cries alot. 

3.  Well, Stephanie still doesn’t recycle.  She refuses.  Lou, however, has started recycling.  Good job, Lou.

4.  Dissertation is going very well.  I’m really almost Dr. Tara now.

5.  Today is my father-in-law’s birthday.  Happy Birthday, John!

6.  Dec and I are having a battle of wills. Everytime he eats (which is often, cause he’s a little piggy), he goes “sppppfffftttttt” and food goes everywhere.  When I scold him, he grins and then says “sppppppffffftttt” again.  The other day, I looked in the mirror and I had dots of green beans all over my face.  I’m going to include a video, during which you will see the origins of this behavior.  Yes, bad mommy moment.  I taught him how to do the behavior about which I am now complaining.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjTPfl90Njc

Naptime Antics

May 15, 2008 at 10:12 pm | In Savannah | 3 Comments

Some of you may remember a couple of months ago when I mourned the fact that Savannah no longer waits quietly in her bed in the morning for me to come and get her.  Instead, she appears at my bedside, talkative and eager to start her day.  Well, to prevent this blessed event from occuring every morning at 6:30 am, I devised a solution.

I bought her an alarm clock that plays music.  I set her alarm for 7:10 am, turn it on a very low volume (in case she is by some miracle still sleeping at 7:10 am), and tell her that she cannot come out of her room until she hears the music.  From the very first day, she completely understood this concept.  She waits in her room, sometimes looking through books or playing with puzzles, and when she hears the music, she comes into our bedroom.  My alarm, in contrast, is set for 6:50 am.  This way, I get a shower before her chatter barrages me in the morning.  It works well for everyone.

We do the same thing at nap time.  The alarm is set for approximately the same time that Dec usually wakes up, and she has to stay in her room until the music plays.  Usually, she spends the majority of the time sleeping, but occasionally she’ll wake up early and amuse herself until it’s time to come downstairs.

Last night, Kevin went upstairs to help Savannah brush her teeth.  As they entered her bathroom (it’s attached to her bedroom), he saw that the cap to the toothpaste was sitting on the counter, but the actual toothpaste was missing.  When he asked her where the toothpaste was, she pointed to the window and said, “It’s at Ms. Kelly’s” (our neighbor across the street).  After further questioning, Kevin found the toothpaste sitting on the windowsill.  Empty.  Apparently, after nap, she had sat at the window, gazed at Ms. Kelly’s house, and sucked every last bit of the toothpaste out of the tube.  Thankfully, it was the non-toxic infant kind.

After a stern discussion about the perils of eating things that are not food, Kevin suggested that she get into her bed.  At this point, she confided, “I got all your stickers, Daddy”.  (Background:  We are doing a twelve month “walk through” for our home, and we’re supposed to put stickers on all the parts of the drywall that need to be touched up.  Therefore, there are about a million stickers dotting every wall in our home, including the walls of Savannah’s bedroom.)  She went to the garbage in the bathroom and pulled a cluster of stickers out, all of which had been removed from the walls.  Oops.  Daddy has some more work to do.

So, now the door between Savannah’s room and the bathroom is locked.  No more access for the toothpaste-eating, sticker-stealing girl.

 

Girls Weekend

May 13, 2008 at 9:23 pm | In Savannah | Leave a Comment

 

This weekend was all about the girls. Savannah and I flew to Washington, DC to visit Mer, Katie, and Cheryl. Oh, and Rasmus, Katie’s husband, but he worked most of the weekend. We had a great time eating, riding the Metro, and exploring DC.

Description of the above pictures:

Top Left: Mer and Savannah trying out the swings in the park across from Katie’s house.

Top Right: Benjamin, Steve’s 7 month old son. So cute.

Bottom Left: Savannah, asleep in the car on the way home from the airport. Three days of no naps made for a very tired girl.

Bottom Right: Mer and Savannah hanging out at the Museum of Natural History. Savannah was very nervous about seeing the huge dinosaurs at first.

Back at the ranch, Kevin and Dec spent some quality time together.  While I think Dec missed me (and I missed him!), I think he enjoyed getting all that time with Daddy.  And when I returned home, I learned that Kevin had taught Dec to say, “Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma” and “Rah-rah-rah-rah”, which is great, since Dec has not been making very many advances on his speech.

Sayings from Mom

May 6, 2008 at 8:30 pm | In Family and Friends, Reminiscing | 4 Comments

So, in light of the fact that Mother’s Day is coming up, I’ve been thinking of my mom.  I started thinking of phrases that I heard my mother say frequently while growing up.  Off of the top of my head, these are the ones that stand out.  My brothers may remember different ones.

1.  If it was a snake it would have bit ya (Also synonomous with “Are you blind?”.  This was usually said to my father, who has the male affliction of asking about the location of an item while staring directly at it.  I usually just screech “Are you blind???” to Kevin rather than saying the more tactful version.  Or even more rudely, I say, “I’m not telling you, cause it’s right in front of your face.)

2.  You’re driving me to drink. (I use this one a lot, usually muttered under my breath during one of Savannah’s tantrums.  It makes me feel better.)

3.  Were you raised in a barn?  (This goes hand-in-hand with “What would your mother think?”, which is said in public in order to immediately disown us when we did something embarrassing.  Case in point:  My youngest brother let out the most disgusting belch in a restaurant while we were on vacation.  People turned their heads.  My mother snapped, “What would your mother think?” and was absolved of all blame.  Brilliant.)

4.  It’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. (Said in response to any complaint.  And really, how can you dispute that?)

5.  I hope you have a child just like you when you grow up (to be fair, she said this to my brother Nathan more than me.  He was a rascal.  I prefer to think that when she said it to me it was said in loving, admiring tones.)

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

 

 

 

Dissertation Progress

May 4, 2008 at 8:21 pm | In Dissertation | 4 Comments
I have some good news to report about my dissertation. 
 
The first draft is done. 
 
I have blathered on about my dissertation topic for approximately 110 pages, producing 5 chapters.  These 110 pages are filled with glorious verbiage, exciting tables, kickass figures, and references to ground-breaking literature.  Well, lets hope that’s what my dissertation committee thinks.                                             
                                                                                 
Tomorrow, I am handing it in, after I proofread Chapter 5 one last time.  I will wait anxiously for the comments from my committee, so I can make revisions, and finally defend.  I hope I will defend in June, so I can graduate in August. 
 
Below is an email I sent to about 50 people back in January.  I am SO glad I sent that email, as it has resulted in tons of support.  I got several inspirational cards from my friend and mentor Monica at Le Moyne College (where I adjuncted last year), my sister-in-law Jen reminded me that I was writing a scientific paper, so writer’s block is impossible (I thought of that comment often), Mer gave me tips on how to communicate with a surly statistics professor, and most importantly, Lindsey spent hours on the phone with me, thumbing through books, exhaustively discussing statistical analyses for Chapter 4.  THANK YOU, LINDSEY.  And Kevin has watched the kids on many Sunday mornings so I could get time to work on my dissertation in peace.
 
Family and Friends,
 
Did you know that graduate student’s who are completing their dissertations have the cleanest homes?  Yes, they do.   Why?  Because they will do any task imaginable in order to avoid working on their dissertation.
 
In general, I do have a clean home.  So I need your help in another way.  I NEED, NEED, NEED to finish my dissertation. I have used every excuse in the book not to finish this thing. 
 
Let me give you a run-down of my education.  So you can see how close I am to finishing my doctoral degree.  How much I’d done, how little I have to do.
 
1994–graduated high school
1998–graduated college with a degree in Psychology and my secondary education teaching certificate in social studies
2001–graduated with my advanced master’s degree in school psychology.  I also got married this year.
2002–entered my doctoral program (started taking the coursework)/working full-time as a school psychologist
2003–still doing coursework/working full-time as a school psychologist
2004–still doing coursework while completing a year-long full-time internship
Fall 2004–took my comprehensive exams, scored among the highest in my program (big hurdle completed)
Fall/Winter/Spring 2004/2005–8 month long internship (pregnant with Savannah)
June 2005–Savannah born, started dissertation after I took a self-imposed maternity leave.
2006–Completed first three chapters of dissertation, defended my research proposal in May 2006 (another big hurdle)
Fall 2006–Collected data for my dissertation.  Entered all my data, wrote the first part of Chapter 4 (there are five chapters).  Got pregnant with Declan, started teaching at LeMoyne College part-time. 
November 2006–I basically stopped working on dissertation due to job demands, pregnancy, and Kevin’s horrible job, which resulted in me working practically full-time to help him get a new job (anyone who is or knows a physician knows how time consuming getting a job is).  We moved to South Carolina from NY in May 2007.
July 2007–Declan born.  Acid reflux is nasty thing.  Chronically fatigued.
 
It is now January 12, 2008.  I have a 4.0 GPA; I have written over 80 pages of my dissertation.  I have probably about 30 pages or so to go.  If I worked hard, I could probably complete a decent first draft of Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 by the end of March.  Once the first draft is done, it will go to my dissertation committee, who will suggest improvements and revisions.  I will revise it to their satisfaction.  Then, I will be permitted to  “defend” my dissertation (go to my graduate school and present my entire dissertation to anyone at the university who will listen to me blather on about it).  It is possible for me to graduate in May 2008; even with a slow committee, there is absolutely no reason why I cannot graduate in August 2008.
 
I need to do this.  I need to stop making excuses, and just finish my degree.  I told myself that I will not be able to get a job, start any big home improvement projects, join any clubs or activities, plan a vacation, or buy address labels that say, “Drs. Kevin and Tara Nusz” until I am officially Dr. Tara E. Nusz.
 
Help me reach my goal.  Make me accountable.  When you speak to me, ask me how my dissertation is going.  No, don’t ask me what it’s about, I barely care, I certainly don’t expect you to.   But ask if I’m working on it, if I’m having a hard or an easy time, if I feel good about what I’ve completed.  Listen to me vent for a minute or two about how tired I am, how my dissertation committee stinks, how my computer is impaired, how I have writer’s block.  Then tell me to get back to work.  Tell me that you know I can do it.
 
Thanks for your support!  It really means alot to me.
Love,
Tara
 
But it’s not over.  I have still have to make revisions on Chapter 3, write an abstract, and put together a table of contents, list of references, appendices, and a list of tables and figures.  All of it is cake compared to what I have just completed, but none-the-less, I need to stay focused.  Oh, and I need to prepare a defense.
 
So, I’ll be busy, but I have accomplished the vast majority of this project.  Yay, me!

Our Neighbor’s Yard is Dirty

May 2, 2008 at 10:48 am | In Savannah | Leave a Comment

Conversation today:

Me:  Savannah, you’re awake from your nap! (She’s sitting on the floor, with every toy and puzzle off of her bookshelf.)

Savannah:  Ms. Kelly’s outside. (Obviously, she has also been looking out the window.  Did she sleep at all?)

Me:  Yup. (I had seen Ms. Kelly out earlier, mowing her lawn.)

Savannah (thoughtfully):  She’s vacuuming her yard.

Me:  Oh?

Savannah:  Yes, it’s dirty.

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